EXCLUSIVE – THE POP SCOOP OF THE CENTURY!!
THE BEATLES ARE BACK!
‘Fab Four’ re-form – new album due
Yes, it’s true. Fifteen years after they split up pop legends The Beatles are set to reform. And work on a new album is already underway.
Surviving members of the most successful pop group in the history of the world have consistently denied rumours that the band had been planning a comeback. But it now seems certain that the best selling artists ever in the history of popular music will soon be back in business.
The mastermind behind the move is Johnny Johnson, a Liverpool based plumber and life long fan of the fab four. He spoke to us from a recording studio in London where work has already begun on a new Beatles L.P.
“It just seemed right after all this time that the band should get together again”, he told us.
“Obviously there were problems, and bearing in mind the sad loss of John Lennon there was a need for a new guitarist and songwriter. The obvious choice was John’s son Julian, but with him living in the States there was going to be transport problems.
Luckily a friend of mine plays guitar so I asked him if he would do the job”.
Unfortunately none of the remaining Beatles, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr were interested and so Johnson had to recruit a further three musicians before rehearsals could begin.
“I decided to do the singing myself so I really only needed another two”, he explained.
“I put an ad. in the Liverpool Echo and pot fixed up with a drummer straight away. He knew a bass player who wasn’t working so we signed him up and started rehearsing for the new L.P.”
Although the album isn’t due out until next year, recording and writing are already well under way.
“All the material on the album is going to be new stuff, and I can already see a change in musical direction beginning to come through,” Johnny told us.
“The old stuff still stands the tests of time, but there’s a lot of new ideas coming through and I think a few of our fans might be pleasantly surprised with the results.”
If you were too young to catch The Beatles first time round, you’ll have a chance to see them on their comback tour which will be timed to coincide with the release of their new album. The L.P., which is due in the shops by mid-1986, is provisionally titled ‘Strawberry Roads Tomorrow’.
HELLRAISER OLIVER REID TELLS HIS OWN STORY
‘I CAN DRINK 75 PINTS OF BEER’
I’m like an earthquake says Ollie
Adapted from his book I AM AN ATOM BOMB’ © Oliver Reid 1985
I’ve always had a reputation as a bit of a hellraiser. But I can’t complain. I’m a pretty wild bloke. In my time I’ve smashed up every bar and been thrown out of every posh hotel in the world at least three times.
I was thrown out of The Savoy in London once because I kept jumping out of my twelfth floor window and landing on my head in the car park. I was trying to smash a friend’s car but in the event I came back with a bulldozer and flattened the hotel.
I happen to enjoy drinking. I drank vodka standing on my head until I was about fourteen. Nowadays I prefer 75 pints of beer, down the hatch in one. .And that’s nothing. I often drink twice that much without needing the toilet.
If I go out for a meal it’s as if an earthquake has hit town. I usually smash the table with my girlfriend or use the chairs as a knife and fork. In one restaurant I ordered twelve colour televisions, chewed them up and spat them in the waiter’s face.
My crazy diet of electrical appliances and broken glass often leads to stomach trouble. I often have to pump it myself — with a gallon of liquid Gumption and an industrial vacuum cleaner.
‘l ate fourteen dolphins’
I’m pretty well known for my crazy and dangerous pranks. A friend once bet me £500 that I wouldn’t eat a live goldfish. I took him along to the zoo and ate 14 dolphins before I was sick. Afterwards I ate another six.
On another occasion I drank ten pints of nitroglycerine and then locked myself in a friend’s washing machine. When he switched it on I blew up, destroying his entire house.
I’m also well known for going through doors without opening them. I had a 36 room mansion built for me in Hollywood without a single door in it. I prefer to make them myself by barging through the walls head first.
I always pay for any damage I cause — unless I don’t particularly feel like it. Being a hellraiser can turn out to be a pretty expensive business.
I normally get through at least a dozen shirts a week because my body expands to twice its normal size whenever I get angry. A bit like the Incredible Hulk actually. Many friends have taken to calling me ‘the Werewolf’ because I can change so dramatically. Come to think of it my face does get quite hairy sometimes.
As a matter of fact there have been a few sheep found torn limb from limb in the fields near where I live. And I do get the odd bloodstain on my clothing when I wake up in the mornings.
Next week Ollie describes his X-ray vision and reveals that only kryptonite rays can kill him.