Last Neighbours Viewer Finally Dies

No-one left alive who still watches Aussie soap

Last Neighbours Viewer Finally Dies

The cast of Neighbours were summoned to an emergency meeting by producers yesterday, where they were informed that their last remaining viewer had died.

SOB STORY: Soap cast is mourning last remaining viewer.
SOB STORY: Soap cast is mourning last remaining viewer.

The news brings to an end a tense few years on set, where dwindling audiences had meant many of the episodes were filmed around viewers’ travel plans. Last summer, production of the long-running Aussie soap was put on hold for 2 weeks until the audience returned from their holidays.

The stunned cast members were informed that they can stop pretending to be their characters with immediate effect. Producers were hoping that some of the actors could be found new jobs on Home and Away, Out of the Blue or The Flying Doctors, but admitted that vacancies on these soaps were few and far between.

future

Glum actors leaving the gates of Ramsay Street for the last time admitted to waiting reporters that they face an uncertain future.

The man who plays Lou Carpenter said that the news had come as a shock: “I always knew this day would come, but I hoped the one remaining viewer would hold on for a few more years,” he told reporters.

drawing board

Harold Bishop“We had some exciting storylines planned for him this year, as well as a birthday special. This is a sad day for fictional dramatic Australian suburban life depiction. I’m going to have to look for a new job tomorrow, perhaps playing an obstinate but kind-hearted middle-aged local businessman.”

And further misery was heaped upon the cast of the former soap. Within hours of the show’s axing, rumours circulated on the internet that the last remaining viewer, a kebab shop owner from Batley, may have actually died 2 years ago, meaning that 467 episodes had been filmed unnecessarily.